Tuesday, May 13, 2008


I sat on the bench in the weight room, breathing deeply. Physically exhausted from another grueling leg workout. Overhead squats. Need I say more? I shut my eyes tightly for a moment, a flood of emotions overcome me. “What am I doing all of this for?” I muttered deep within the recesses of my mind. Only to remind myself of that triumph I had achieved last week. 205lb deadlift. There were no records set today. So what motivates me day in and day out to push myself to get through another workout?

Rampant reminders of the past life of an overweight woman motivate me to push through when the idea of quitting invades my mind. There is no turning back. Now, I don't utilize these thoughts as a form of punishment, because that would only be negative reinforcement. Rather, it motivates me to excel. To run that extra mile. To lift heavier.

So, I ask myself again: what am I doing all of this for? Me. Just me.

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