I sat on the bench in the weight room, breathing deeply. Physically exhausted from another grueling leg workout. Overhead squats. Need I say more? I shut my eyes tightly for a moment, a flood of emotions overcome me. “What am I doing all of this for?” I muttered deep within the recesses of my mind. Only to remind myself of that triumph I had achieved last week. 205lb deadlift. There were no records set today. So what motivates me day in and day out to push myself to get through another workout?
Rampant reminders of the past life of an overweight woman motivate me to push through when the idea of quitting invades my mind. There is no turning back. Now, I don't utilize these thoughts as a form of punishment, because that would only be negative reinforcement. Rather, it motivates me to excel. To run that extra mile. To lift heavier.
So, I ask myself again: what am I doing all of this for? Me. Just me.
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1996
2007
By definition, to be on the anvil is to be in a state of discussion, formation, or preparation. On the anvil I am transforming and reshaping a rusted, neglected body into a magnificent instrument. This is my place where I will share stories of my transformation. This is my anvil.
Margie
My Journey
My weight loss adventure began in 1996, weighing in at 205 pounds. Ten years later, I lost a total of 90 pounds. Aside from a love of sweets and carbs that knew no bounds? A myriad of incidents and issues led me to using food for all the wrong reasons from an early age. Food was never just food for me. It was a way of escaping from the world; a comfort and a coping mechanism. Not an unfamiliar story for many, I’m sure. It's taken me a long time but I'm finally managing to unravel my relationship with food and develop a healthier attitude towards my body and nutrition.
Back in 1996 I'd convinced myself that chocolate was one of the five food groups. Jelly beans, and jujubes were an afternoon snack. For years I watched the scale climb and felt helpless and hopeless. Depressed, yet determined I decided it was time to lose the weight. How I used to long to just be thin. So with my newfound determination I’d embark on a new “starvation” diet and throw in a little exercise for good measure. I’d lose anywhere from 5-10 pounds and manage to keep it off until I went through my next cycle of body image/diet frustration. This yo-yo dieting went on for ten years. My so-called grand epiphany happened in August 2005 when something in me triggered and I was ready to no longer let my weight dictate everything I did with my life, or rather what I didn’t do. This is when dramatic changes in my body happened.
The secret to losing weight...
Two words. Diet. Exercise. No magic answer. The only way to lose weight is through proper nutrition and exercise. I busted my butt on the treadmill and adhered strictly to a diet that kept me in a caloric deficit to finally rid myself of the excess fat. Mind you, if I were to do it again, I’d certainly do a few things differently, but this was my method and it worked. Today, I focus on eating a fairly clean diet with loads of fruit, veggies and protein. I’m learning to enjoy food without shame or guilt and trying to live with the attitude that no food is inherently “good” or “bad”, and there is a time for everything.
I've developed a new passion along my weight loss journey. No longer will you see me running countless hours on that treadmill in the back corner. Today you’ll find me in the “guys room” as I used to call it in my fat days, lifting heavy and working hard to build a new physique.
Overall, my desire to live a healthy life has made this change a permanent one. A favourite saying of mine has been...the pain of discipline far outweighs the pain of regret. How badly do you want to reach your goal? What’s standing in your way? Food will always be there. Know that perseverance and dedication to making small changes will reap huge benefits.
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard
Back in 1996 I'd convinced myself that chocolate was one of the five food groups. Jelly beans, and jujubes were an afternoon snack. For years I watched the scale climb and felt helpless and hopeless. Depressed, yet determined I decided it was time to lose the weight. How I used to long to just be thin. So with my newfound determination I’d embark on a new “starvation” diet and throw in a little exercise for good measure. I’d lose anywhere from 5-10 pounds and manage to keep it off until I went through my next cycle of body image/diet frustration. This yo-yo dieting went on for ten years. My so-called grand epiphany happened in August 2005 when something in me triggered and I was ready to no longer let my weight dictate everything I did with my life, or rather what I didn’t do. This is when dramatic changes in my body happened.
The secret to losing weight...
Two words. Diet. Exercise. No magic answer. The only way to lose weight is through proper nutrition and exercise. I busted my butt on the treadmill and adhered strictly to a diet that kept me in a caloric deficit to finally rid myself of the excess fat. Mind you, if I were to do it again, I’d certainly do a few things differently, but this was my method and it worked. Today, I focus on eating a fairly clean diet with loads of fruit, veggies and protein. I’m learning to enjoy food without shame or guilt and trying to live with the attitude that no food is inherently “good” or “bad”, and there is a time for everything.
I've developed a new passion along my weight loss journey. No longer will you see me running countless hours on that treadmill in the back corner. Today you’ll find me in the “guys room” as I used to call it in my fat days, lifting heavy and working hard to build a new physique.
Overall, my desire to live a healthy life has made this change a permanent one. A favourite saying of mine has been...the pain of discipline far outweighs the pain of regret. How badly do you want to reach your goal? What’s standing in your way? Food will always be there. Know that perseverance and dedication to making small changes will reap huge benefits.
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard
1996
2007
2008
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